Vice: Don't Pay Friends for Sex

Don't Pay Friends for Sex

 If you’re in your early 20s, you think this title is a joke. If you’re in your mid-to-late 30s, you’ve either already paid your friends for sex, been paid by your friends for sex, or you don’t have sex because you can’t have sex, or nobody will have sex with you no matter how much you pay. But if you’re in your late 20s or early 30s, this is for you, because you are probably wondering, or about to wonder, if paying your pal for sex is a good idea. It is not. But here’s the temptation:

You’ve known so-and-so for a long time and there’s always been an attraction. You almost knocked boots once or twice but so-and-so was dating a good friend of yours or someone you found repulsive, and it never quite came off. There was that one time so-and-so came over to your house at 3 AM, but you were totally sober and so-and-so was running around your apartment smelling of gin and cocaine and knocking the pictures off the walls, which did not, to your way of seeing things, set the mood. There have been times in your relationship when you had no money and you called so-and-so to moan about the tragedy and injustice of it all, and there were times when so-and-so bitched and complained to you about a live-in who’d get high and spend Saturday night with the neighbor. You feel like you’ve been through it all and now you have a little money because you have a job you hate and you want to share the wealth because so-and-so is broke and divorced, but you don’t want to dole out cash for nothing and coincidentally you’re not getting any and so-and-so is looking pretty good. The two of you talk about this woman who pays her carpenter his day rate even if he never gets out of bed, or this businessman who goes to visit his old artsy girlfriend once a week and gets a blowjob and leaves 50 to 200 dollars on the table. (The numbers in these scenarios are contingent on how much you think your friend is worth, or how much your friend thinks he/she is worth—this is how negotiations begin, delicately.) Hey, you tease, wouldn’t it be a funny idea if we—but this is why you need to print this post out and fold it up and stick it in your back pocket, because before you offer to pay your friend for flesh, you should know these things:

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